It’s Not the Thing, It’s What We Make of It

“When you are distressed by an external thing, it’s not the thing itself that troubles you, but only your judgment of it. And you can wipe this out at a moment’s notice.”
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.47

Every hardship carries two parts: what happens, and what we decide it means.
The first is beyond our control; the second is ours entirely.
Our reactions — not the events themselves — create much of our suffering.

The ancient Stoics understood this, and so did the writers of Scripture.
The world tests us, but our thoughts determine whether we are defeated or refined.
“For as he thinks within himself, so is he.” — Proverbs 23:7 (RSV-2CE)

Interpreting Events vs. Experiencing Them

The same storm can sink one boat and strengthen another, depending on how the captain responds.
Two people can face the same trial — one curses, one grows wiser — because one sees only pain while the other sees purpose.

The apostle Paul lived this truth. Writing from prison, he declared:

“I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content.
I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound; in any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and want.
I can do all things in him who strengthens me.”
— Philippians 4:11-13 (RSV-2CE)

Paul’s chains did not imprison his mind.
He chose to see meaning in the suffering — to treat hardship as the soil where endurance grows.

Biblical Examples of Reframed Suffering

  • Joseph was sold into slavery, falsely accused, and imprisoned — yet years later he could say:

    “As for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good.”
    — Genesis 50:20 (RSV-2CE)

  • Job lost everything — his family, his health, his wealth — but still declared:

    “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.”
    — Job 13:15 (RSV-2CE)

  • Paul and Silas were beaten and jailed, yet “about midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them.”
    — Acts 16:25 (RSV-2CE)

Each of these moments reminds us: the event is not the story.
The meaning we choose gives it power.

The Moment of Decision

Marcus Aurelius wrote that we can “wipe it out at a moment’s notice.”
That doesn’t mean denying pain or pretending we’re unaffected.
It means choosing not to let bitterness, resentment, or fear take root.

Jesus modeled this perfectly in Gethsemane. Facing betrayal and crucifixion, He prayed:

“Father, if thou art willing, remove this cup from me; nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.”
— Luke 22:42 (RSV-2CE)

He accepted what He could not change and found strength in obedience.
That surrender was not defeat — it was victory over despair.

Practicing the Perspective

  1. Pause before reacting. Ask: “What part of this belongs to me — and what belongs to God?”
  2. Identify your judgment. “I’ve decided this is unfair.” “I’ve decided this is hopeless.” Then question whether that’s truth or reaction.
  3. Reframe through faith.

    “We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.”
    — Romans 8:28 (RSV-2CE)

  4. Choose gratitude over grievance.
    Gratitude doesn’t erase pain; it restores control over meaning.

A Deeper Strength

Life will hand us things we did not ask for — illness, loss, disappointment, delay.
But within each lies a choice: to be shaped by anger or strengthened by acceptance.
The Stoic calls it judgment.
The Christian calls it trust.
Both point toward the same truth: peace begins where resistance ends.

When we learn to meet what happens with calm and courage, we no longer live as victims of circumstance.
We become participants in redemption — people who turn hardship into holiness, trial into testimony.

It’s not the thing that defines you, but the faith and courage with which you interpret it.